Why you need a malleable fashion wishlist

And what's on mine!

I’ve been working on the visuals for the name shift of this newsletter. Ethical Fat Fashion will soon change to ポッチャリ STYLE (POCCHARI STYLE). This week *almost* the entire newsletter is free to all except for brand mentions in the footnotes. I’ve also added a couple of new brands to the directory. I’ve compressed all the images (fashion sketches down below!), but it might still cut off in your email. Please read in the app or in-browser.

I'm very excited to hear whether you have an active fashion wishlist, whether you stick to it, and if it helps you! Let me know in the comments.

Last week I wrote about everything I had thrifted this year (so far!). Although I’ve written about how I’m going to feel less guilty about buying the ‘wrong’ things, there’s part of me that feels some of the clothes I bought really were all over the place.

My focus should have been primarily on summer, yet most of the things I’ve bought have been spring or autumn pieces. Sometimes this couldn’t be helped when I was buying clothes online and couldn’t tell the weight of the fabric. But could I have been more discerning? Probably.

And one of the primary ways to be more discerning is to make a wishlist…

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LIMITATIONS OF A WISHLIST

• Can’t accurately anticipate patterns (outside of gingham, dots or stripes) or designs I’ve never come across before

• Can feel restricting

• Can veer into perfectionism and the idea of an “end point”

POTENTIAL POSITIVES

• Can encourage discernment

• More likely to add versatile pieces

• Can help with indecision especially if you’re unsure whether to buy

• Could help with wardrobe cohesion

• Might curb overconsumption (although what that means is a little bit more complex, as it feels like any consumption is automatically marked as wrong right now)

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The thing is that I’ve had a wish list for a while; I just don’t look at it very much. I think it’s because I feel like it’s an ominous external thing meant to “keep my consumption in check” rather than a way to help add structure.

So much of our lives is built on a strange lie: that if we stray from the rules—including a list or diet or even a career path—we’re “cheating” or “doing it wrong.” I had internalised the all-or-nothing thinking omnipresent in slow fashion—that any consumption is bad, especially if you’ve already set parameters, like 5 items or less or a wishlist. So I felt that anything extra is automatically ‘overconsumption’—regardless of your starting point or fashion goals or where you buy things from.

I didn’t know what a wishlist that wasn’t based on shaming my consumption would look like.

Turns out I was thinking of a fashion wishlist in the wrong way.

Every time I added something new to the list, I found myself thinking that I was doing it badly or I was cheating. But to what end? To add more pieces I enjoyed, to add more versatility?

Fashion is never allowed to be a thought-in-process. We have a collective obsession not only with perfectionism but also with completion. We must already know which style to emulate. Everything outside of the linear process of gathering inspiration via internet-style inspo, finding pieces that are similar, and then buying them feels like it’s too much. Often trusting ourselves in the non-linear process of finding our style identities is messy.

If fashion is an extension or embodiment of our selves and tastes, then we need to also acknowledge that we’re often changing. Not necessarily at a micro-trend pace, but there are going to be new colours or silhouettes that we gravitate towards.

A wishlist should be malleable; it should shift; it should be something to come back to and refine. What would an adaptive wishlist that recognises our shifts look like?

Truthfully, I do get easily swayed by new ideas and the potential of new items.

Seeing a wishlist—not as a way to ‘restrict’ my consumption but to give me a place of extra thought and additional pause—feels like it would help bring in a lot of discernment.

Seeing it as a tool that I get to use in a way that feels good to me, not as a way to bring about guilt for the wrong purchase but as a gentle way to guide my purchases. A way to help me balance discernment with consumerism ease.

And if I purchase something off the list—like a blouse or dress in a pattern I really like that I couldn’t anticipate—it doesn’t mean it’s all for nought.

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Onto my current wishlist, I’ve divided it into warm weather (priority) vs. cold weather (less of a priority).

Any brands I’m considering buying from, I’ve included in the footnotes, and where appropriate (size inclusive and ethics-minded), I’ve added to the directory.

I’ve also added some quick fashion sketches—I haven’t put these in for a long time because I feel insecure when I share my ‘bad art,’ meaning the stuff I haven’t spent ages on and perfected. But I really like the way they give an idea of what I’m after, so if you enjoyed these, please let me know!!

WISHLIST (WARM WEATHER)

1. A long billowy light blue cotton or linen dress with thin straps¹

   I think it’d be a really versatile piece from summer to winter with layering. Both my thrifted brown jacket and my new-ish colourful jacket would likely go (depending on the tone of blue).

2. A red shirt similar in fit to the baby blue saucy tee (maybe longer but not too loose)—I’m going to try and find this while thrifting.

   

3. Also a white, black, and grey shirt². A vibrant forest or emerald green would be nice too. For the thrift list.

4. Also generally cute graphic shirts³, bonus if there's a cat on there

5. A button-enclosure wrap mini skirt (future sewing project?) with a pleated asymmetrical hem.

   

6. Striped shorts⁴ I recently bought some really cute ones, but another pair caught my eye so they’re on the wishlist.

7. Neutral shorts⁵ in a natural fabric. By neutral I mean cool-toned fabric to help contrast against brighter tops.

   

8. A silk dress or ankle-length or mid-shin skirt—something to wear with a relaxed tee⁶. Not sure about the colour; I just want something slinky to contrast. I’ll just keep an eye out. I feel like this is virtually impossible to thrift in plus size???

9. Or silk shorts⁷ instead? I don’t think I’d buy both a silk skirt and silk shorts in one year, so it’d be one or the other. I also think both the neutral or silk shorts could work well under my kurta-style tops that I’ve bought from South Asian brands for the summer.

10. Light wash jeans, preferably wide-leg and slightly cropped to show off socks—I have a 3-part denim series coming up to tell you how my journey is going with this!

11. Plaid skirt (ankle length). This is a recent add-on. I like the idea of styling this with a tee.

    

12. Long black pleated skirt (in linen?) to layer over trousers or tights⁸

    I saw a photo of someone a really long time ago layering a pleated skirt on top of black trousers and I still can’t get my mind off it. I know I thrifted the denim maxi, but I want something in a lighter-weight material and that hits mid-shin.

    

13. I guess black trousers⁹ too, then? Again in linen or cotton.

WISHLIST (COLD WEATHER)

1. Dark denim for the winter (again, look out for the denim series!)—wanting more of a straight or tailored style that I can fold up.

2. Green and baby blue tights¹⁰

3. A baby pink, neon pink, or baby blue turtleneck (or lilac or violet)—I’m just keeping an eye on these on my thrift trips just in case.

4. A black statement dress with puffy sleeves—thrift? When I was about 19, I got invited to a party. I remember wearing a shapeless eggplant dress in polyester with black tights, riddled with social anxiety. I was sitting on the sofa with this woman who was probably only a few years older than me. She was fat, brimming with charisma and confidence. Now this was back when I was obsessed with changing my body and also relied on alcohol as a social crutch. So when I was watching this stranger speak, I was instantly enchanted. A lot of it had to do with the billowing black dress she wore. I can’t remember it exactly, but I want a dress that embodies that moment. High neck, details like lace or shirring and big sleeves.

   

5. Striped denim¹¹ —I think it’d be a vibrant addition

Accessory-wise, I’m looking for a versatile backpack in a fun colourway, and more understated statement jewellery similar to my sumo or beach earrings.

I have a separate wishlist for shoes, but that’s honestly a whole topic of its own.

Anyway, even as I was writing this, there were still other things on my mind. Like a cute medium-wash dungaree dress that I saw secondhand? Is it wishlist worthy?

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Okay, super curious, what’s on your wishlist? Do you know what you’re buying next? Let me know!

Become a paid subscriber to unlock the footnotes section—including sources for many of the items on my wishlist.

As always, in gratitude,

Sushmita